A Sunday Morning Harper Moment

This morning, as she was learning to swing by herself, Harper melted my heart when she said, "I love you mommy. And I love daddy and Grandma Paulette and Papa Jack and Grandma Carrie and Papa Doug and Grandma Rushton. I love all of my people and that makes me happy."

What a big thing for a little girl to say. I could do nothing but agree with her as I choked back a whole bunch of joyful tears and resisted the urge to grab Harper off of her swing and hug her until she turned blue. 

I love all of my people, too, Hazelnut and Tucker included, because my people are awesome. My people love me and support me and keep me laughing. My people make this life worth living. Loving my people makes me happy- so happy. 

It's been a beautiful Sunday. We spent today relaxing in the backyard. Sidewalk chalk, bouncy balls, iced coffee, cheeseburgers, ballet flats, doggy snugs, a porch swing, Colty, my Kindle, and my Harper have made for a perfect day. 

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Currently

Loving: Little people yoga mats. I mean, really. Toddler yoga might be the cutest thing a person could ever see.

I'm also loving my time at the piano. Things are really starting to flow for now and I'm loving it- absolutely loving it.

Watching: The Americans on FX. The first season has been so good. Have any of you been watching it? The season finale is next week and I just know it's going to be a cliff hanger. Keri Russell is in it. I've loved her since her days on The Mickey Mouse Club. She's such a hottie.

Reading: I'm still working my way through A History of God (first world problem alert: it's really hard for me to read actual books now... my Kindle really has ruined me with its built-in dictionary) and I'm getting ready to start something new. I just don't know what it's going to be yet. The Elegance of the Hedgehog was so good- definitely a hard act to follow.

Working on: Growing this little blog a bit. I'm sponsoring a couple of blogs right now and trying to be better about being more involved in the blogging community. I've been on the fence about this blog. I think I've finally decided to see if it can grow. I have some buttons made up if anyone would like one for their blog. Find them here.

Also, if anyone is interested in doing a guest post swap, let me know!

Looking forward to: Mother's Day- Harps and I are going to Vegas and can barely wait to spend the holiday with my family.

P.S. Check out a couple of the blogs I'm sponsoring. Trust me, they are good ones.

The Beauty Aisle: I Need Your Opinions!

Please forgive me because I'm going to be a bit shallow and vain for a moment. I'm going to write an entire post and ask your opinion about my hair. I realize how unimportant hair color/length is is the grand scheme of things but I really need some good advice and I think you guys can give it to me.

I have a thing about changing my hair. I do it a lot.

Just since meeting Colt, I have had long hair, short hair, light hair, dark hair, hair with bangs, hair without bangs, ombre hair, and red hair.

 

 

Right now, I have long red hair with thick Zooey D. type bangs.

I spent a lot of time and effort growing my hair out including, but not limited to, sleeping on a satin pillowcase, washing my hair only every fourth or fifth day, doing olive oil treatments, and avoiding heat styling as much as possible (read more about that here). Now that it's long, I'm tired of it. It's high maintenance and it's always tangled. I find myself missing my short hair and am thinking of doing a drastic cut (I've even made an appointment with my stylist). When I look back, I think my favorite length was medium/shoulder. I could wear it straight or wavy without much effort and could still pull it back if needed. I had this length when Colt and I got married and always miss it when I look at our photos.

I love my red hair but am really tired of the cut. I'm considering something like this...

What do you think? Honestly, do I go short or stay long? I'll take any and all advice (my feelings are like steel so don't worry about hurting them). 

P.S. If you are in SLC and in need of a good stylist, let me know and I'll send you to mine. She's amazing!

My Job

I don't talk about my job a whole lot on here. If you're new, you may not even know what I do.

I run a small daycare out of my house. I love it and can't imagine life without it. I get the best of everything- I get to be home with Harper and I get to work. I get to know amazing people and kids and Harper gets to have darling little friends (her life would not be the same without the special friendships she has made through our daycare). I spend my days playing, teaching (I do some preschooling with Harper and the three older children), singing, and dancing. It's wonderful. We have music time three days a week and are adding yoga to our schedule. We do puzzles and watch movies. We play outside and read stories. The fun and the laughter is endless.

My job isn't glamourous and I spend most of each day in yoga clothing, but I still love it. For me, it's the best job and I wouldn't trade it for any other.

The children and parents (most of them) that I work with become like family to us and right now, I have an especially great group of kids and parents. I can honestly say that I wake up everyday excited for work. I never dread Monday, which is a pretty sure sign that my gig is a good one. There is also the fact that I get to hang out with a whole bunch of cuteness all day every day.

These little faces are much cuter than any coworkers/customers I've ever seen. Harper and I are both so grateful for them. They make our lives better and happier each day.

Here Mommy, These are For You

heart. melted.

A Harper Day

I love Harper. That's a given. What's more is that I like her, too. For me, love and like are two different, but equally important, things and it means a lot for me to say that I really and truly like Harper.

I thoroughly enjoy being with her because she is fun, loving, entertaining, curious, and hilarious. She's also got some pretty stellar dance moves and never turns down the chance to shake it with me. Also, she doesn't hold my awful moves against me, which is also why she's the only person that I dance in front of.

Harper has her rough moments, for sure. We both do but even when she's at her worst- yes, even when she is yelling that she doesn't love me or my kisses!!!- I still like Harper. I'm not one of those parents that "needs" breaks from parenting. Sure, I like going out with adults or spending one-on-one time with Colty. Sure, I like going shopping by myself and having uninterrupted time to get ready or read, but I never choose to do these things just so that I can be away from Harper.

The truth is (and it's no secret if you know me) that I don't like being away from Harper, especially at night. I don't sleep well when she isn't with me. When I'm away from her, I'm always thinking of her or wishing she was there to give me a quick squeeze. When I'm away from her, I'm constantly wondering what she's doing and if she's having fun. When I'm away from her, I'm always missing her.

Basically, the two halves of my heart- the one that remains with me and the one that belongs to Harper- just don't like being away from one another.

- - -
We went to Wendover (my first, and most likely last, time ever) last night to celebrate a birthday and spend some time with Whitney and her main squeeze, Hank. We rode the fun bus (which wasn't fun at all), which means we didn't get home until around 4:30 in the morning (one of the things that made the fun bus not fun), which means that Harper spent the night at Grandma Carrie's house. (Note here that Harper enjoys going to Grandma Carrie's house. She always has fun when she is there. Grandma Carrie's house is a safe and loving (and usually spoiling) place. I love that. I love not having to worry. I love that missing Harper and her sweet kisses is my biggest concern when she's there.)

When we got home, the house felt empty (it always does when she isn't here, which is, mind you, a very rare occasion). I felt empty. Going to bed without kissing Harper and tucking her in a bit tighter just doesn't feel right. Waking up in a house without her is even worse. I got up as early as I could, got ready as quickly as I could, and drove to my in-laws' as quickly as I could (I didn't speed... too much), and got a huge Harper hug as quickly as I could.

The great thing about Harper being three is that she misses me just as much as I miss her. She always showers me with hugs and kisses when I pick her up and I love it. Picking Harper up after a night/evening away is definitely a magical time and I eat it right up. Harper always seems to be a bit cuter after a night away. Her snuggles/kisses/hugs seem sweeter, too, and I get as many of them as I can.

I was so happy to see her this morning- so, so happy. I knew right away that we had to do something super fun today. Never mind my messy house (which is still messy). Never mind my stinky casino hair (which is, thankfully, no longer stinky). Never mind piano practicing, laundry, or grocery shopping. Today needed to be a Harper day.

A Harper day almost always includes a park visit. Since this was an extra special Harper day, we went to Liberty Park. We spent nearly four hours there. Harper played and I read. We had a picnic. We walked around. We played with Hazelnut (who was, by the way, so happy to be included- "park" is one of her favorite words after all). We people watched. We made some friends (furry and human). We fed the ducks. Harper hit a lady in the head with a big piece of squished bread (lucky for us, she was a nice lady and took no offense) with her daughter-of-a-professional-baseball-player-arm.

In short, we had a lovely afternoon.

There really are few things that I love as much as I love taking Harper and Hazelnut to the park. In fact, I can barely wait until we can go again.

Making Peace with Yoga

I consider yoga to be a huge part of my life, which is a really hypocritical thing to say when you consider that I haven't consistently practiced yoga for nearly five years.

It's not that I haven't had time for yoga or that I haven't had the desire to practice. It's not even that I was lacking in opportunity- I have two yoga mats at home plus a pretty large DVD collection. There are also a number of studios within a few minutes' drive from our home. Additionally, I always have the option of just rolling out my mat and enjoying my favorite poses from memory.

The problem has been me and my perfectionism. You see, I haven't felt as if I deserved yoga because I wasn't as skinny/organized/"perfect" as I was five years ago, before pregnancy, motherhood, and the gift of acceptance that I gave myself for my 27th birthday.

I've wanted, and needed, to practice. There has been a huge void in my life without yoga. I've wanted to roll out my mat and hear the sticky sound of my hands/feet moving upon it. I've wanted to feel the balance and strength that I always come to through yoga. I've wanted to feel graceful (which I'm not naturally- I can't dance or play sports but when I'm on my yoga mat, I feel graceful and I love it) and tall. I just couldn't make myself do it when my house was messy and my body wasn't as I'd like to be.

I made a goal for 2013. I made a goal to start practicing yoga again no matter what- no matter how messy or imperfect my life/house/body is. I made this goal as a gift to myself because I love yoga. I think yoga is beautiful and graceful and possibly the most peaceful thing I could do. I love yoga because it makes me feel closer to God and to myself.

via pinterest

January, February, and March went by and I didn't do any yoga. When April came, I told myself that it was time. I wasn't going to let my goal fall to the wayside with all of the other well-intended resolutions.

 It was time to make peace with yoga. It was time to learn how to practice in the midst of chaos- how to find the balance and peace that I love so much, no matter what I weigh or how straight -or not straight- the throw pillows on my sofas are.

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I've been faithful. I started slowly, with short sessions, and struggled through awkwardness and frustration. I'm now up to an hour at at time and although I have a long way to go before I'm back where I once was, I'm feeling good. My breath is smooth and my body is starting to loosen up a bit.

I'm practicing at random hours of the day and with all sorts of things going on around me. I've learned how to practice yoga with Harper doing any number of things- eating, coloring, playing- in the same room. Sometimes she joins me, which I love, and sometimes she drives me crazy with questions and demands, which I don't love. I've learned how to lie in corpse pose with Hazel (and oftentimes Tucker) snuggling up against me. I've learned how to pause my practice in the middle of a session so that I can get something for Harper or take a quick phone call from Colt or a parent and then return to my practice with a clear mind and even temper. I've learned how to have a successful practice even when there are tasks to be done. I've learned that I can do yoga no matter what the scale says.

I really feel like I've learned more about yoga in the last month than in all of the time I spent practicing and studying it before. Of course I enjoyed yoga when I was 94 pounds and a member of a local studio, where I could go practice without distractions or worries. That was easy. This new practice that I'm making peace with has been hard. Learning to love yoga at home with an imperfect body and a whole bunch of distractions is a true challenge- one that I readily accept.

Truthfully, I am quite proud of myself for making and working on this goal because yoga really is a must in my life- a spiritual, physical, and mental must. We all have things in life that we need- that we can't fully live with out. My things are learning, reading, music, exercise, and yoga. I need yoga the way that others need prayer or weekly devotional services. I need the peace of mind that it brings and the time out that it offers me and I'm so glad that I found the courage to make peace with it so that it can be a part of my daily life once again.

I'm going to practice at home for a while longer. In a month or so, I'm going to start taking classes (this is on my 2013 Bucket List so ya'll had better hold me to it, you hear?). I don't have a lot of free time so I'm plan on aiming for a once a week class. I'd also like to order Harper her own mat and help her start a practice of her own. If you have any kids yoga DVD suggestions, please send them my way.

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So I have a question (not hypothetical). What are your things? What things do you need? What things are so much a part of you that you can't imagine life without them?

Currently

Loving: so many things: sleepy Harper snuggles, a freshly groomed Hazelnut, using my new driver at the driving range, long walks with Harper (we average 3 miles a day), bright pants from The Buckle, and visits from my parents.

 (You may remember that I used to work at The Buckle? Well, I'm telling you that if you need jeans, it's the only place to go... they have something for nearly everyone and every budget and they offer complimentary alterations.)

Watching: Mad Men- it's finally back! I'm also watching Mr. Selfridge on Masterpiece Theater (another period drama that is helping me through my Downton Abbey withdrawals).

Reading: The Elegance of the Hedgehog... I'm liking it- I needed a break from the intensity of my 2013 Bucket List Reading List. I needed to set theology aside for a bit so that I could enjoy something light and entertaining.

Thinking about: how big Harper is getting. Just this morning, we had to purchase new ballet shoes and a new leotard for her. I had a lump in my throat as I put the smaller shoes and leotard (her first ballet duds ever) in her keepsake box. Did you know that Harper wears a 5T? Seriously. And it's none too big on her, either. Our next step is the girls' section, which is terrifying and totally heartbreaking.

Working on: my 2013 Bucket list, spring cleaning, and trying to figure out exactly how to write my parents' histories. Have any of you written a history before? If so, send any/all ideas my way!

Looking forward to: Colty's softball season, which starts this coming Wednesday (I love to go and chat with all of the other girlfriends/wives) and my first ever trip to Wendover (classy, I know) next weekend. Penny slots and tequila shots... here I come!

2013 Bucket List: Live Performance #1

Harper and I crossed another item off of our 2013 Bucket List earlier this week when we went to see the Children's Ballet Theater's production of The Little Mermaid at Kingsbury Hall. Harper's best friend, Paityn, and her mom joined us, of course. I mean, why go to the ballet if your best friend isn't there to share it with you, you know?

Anyway, it was a fun evening for the girls. That goes without saying, however, since Harper and Paityn have fun wherever they go/whatever they do (and they look absolutely and totally cute doing it). Harper loves anything and everything that has to do with ballet and has been practicing all of the new steps she saw at The Little Mermaid on a daily basis.

Harper was beyond herself with excitement while waiting for Paityn to get here. She insisted on watching out the window while I finished fixing her hair.

See what I mean about the cuteness (I'm sure it's the only thing that saved us from getting kicked out of the theater for their dancing in the aisles throughout most of the performance)? These two really do take the cake. Their complete love for one another is so sweet, too, and I like the fact that Harper will do almost anything (brush her teeth... take a bath... wear pants) if I tell her that Paityn does it. I'm so glad that Harper has this special friendship in her life.

Liberty Park Lady Date

Colt and his man-friends/beard-buddies are fishing (or in his words, "slaying Walleye") at Utah Lake tonight so I took Harper out for a little lady date at Liberty Park, one of my favorite SLC spots.

We had a great time exploring the park, eating snacks, feeding the ducks, visiting the playground, and watching the sunset. We even ran into Kenzie and some of her friends. It was so fun (Harper loved it and wants to "go there all the time!") that neither of us was ready to leave once the sun went down. I'm hoping we can get in a longer visit this coming weekend.

I love that Harper is now old enough to really enjoy Liberty Park. I have a feeling this might become our favorite place this spring/summer. Seriously, I can barely wait to take her back. 

Lady dates with Harper are the best- the very best.