From Us

Watching Harper change and grow has been the greatest- and most unexpected- joy of my life. She has been in constant evolution, physically and mentally, since she was born nearly three years ago. I know that she looks different to most people but to me, her mama, she looks pretty much the same (with a little more hair and a lot more sass, of course) as she did when we first brought her home in October of 2009. The features that defined her then (her big blue eyes, her pokey ears) are still there now and I love them in a fierce way.

I love everything about Harper, from the way that she smells to the way that she needs me when she has a tummy ache. She can be playing or eating or watching a movie, totally uninterested in me and suddenly, I'll be the only thing she wants. The minute that her tummy starts hurting, she runs to me saying, "Hold me, mama. My belly hurts."I love that. I even love her when she's mad. Despite the fact that they often frustrate me, I love her passion and determination.

Now that Harper is a little older, she doesn't need me as much (sad day, I know). She doesn't need me to hover over her when she is playing outside and I was recently moved from the gym to the waiting area at gymnastics class because Harper was placed in a more advanced group that doesn't require parental assistance (does it break my heart to know that our parent/child classes are over for good? Yes, it does). Sometimes when we are home and she is playing or watching one of her movies, she even asks to be alone. Harper isn't a kid that requires constant companionship. She appreciates, and often seeks out, space to be by herself. She got that from me.

She got lots of things from me. Now that I can sit back and observe her a bit instead of helicoptering (which I was never really good at, by the way), I'm starting to see myself in her more and more. She got lots of things from Colt, too- good things- and it's been really fun to watch them surface as she's lived and played and tried to find her place in our little world.

Traits that Harper got from me:
-pokey ears and full lips
-a sense of adventure and positivity
-girlishness (if it's pink, sparkly, or in any way princess-related, Harper loves it)
-some solid vocal chords- I'm pretty sure our neighbors have heard Harper singing
-the ability to play alone

Traits that Harper got from Colt:
-beautiful blue eyes and perfect curls
-stubbornness- the girl knows what she wants and will not normally be convinced otherwise
-coordination (lucky girl)
-social skills (Harper makes friends wherever we go while I'm quiet and socially awkward around my peers)
-confidence and self assurance (when I met Colt, his confidence was one of the things that I was most attracted to and it's something that I hoped and prayed Harper would get from him and thankfully, she did and I'm going to do everything I can to make that stick... forever... i want, above all else, for Harper to know, love, and appreciate herself and I don't want it to take nearly 30 years and a lifetime's worth of mistakes for her to get there...)

Some traits that Harper got from both of us:
-a love of animals, especially dogs (she's already asking for her own)
-energy (lots of it) and the need to be active
-a need for sleep (nobody in this house functions very well without adequate sleep and we all love naps)
-pale skin
-good teeth (Harper's teeth are, thus far, strong and straight and we are hoping they stay that way... Neither Colt nor I had braces so Harper's chances at naturally pretty teeth are high)

There are some things that are still undetermined. We don't yet know which school subjects will be her favorites or how her sense of humor will play out (Colt likes dirty boy jokes while I appreciate dry, more subtle, humor) or where she will fit in during her school years. Will she be popular like Colt was or nerdy and awkward like I was? Will she play sports or join choir (hopefully, she'll opt for both!)? Will she become more like me or more like Colt as she grows older? Or will she forge her own path and be nothing like either of us? Who knows?

Hopefully, she will want it all- to be at least a little like both of us and a lot like herself.

One trait that everyone likes to talk about is her height. Harps is quite tall for her age (about the size of a four year old) and everyone assumes that came from her dad. What most people don't know is that I was tall for my age, too. I was always one of the tallest in my grade until I was nine, which is when my body decided to reach puberty prematurely (yes, I had my first period when I was nine... you may go ahead and feel sorry for me now) and I stopped growing. This propensity to mature quickly is something I myself inherited, which means that Harper has a good chance of it happening to her. This is the one physical trait that I absolutely don't want Harper to get from me, not because I care if she is short but because no nine year old should have to deal with periods and bras.

The funny thing is that if I had to pick which traits Harper got from us, my choices wouldn't be much different from the lists above. Harper has taken bits and pieces from both of us and made them her own (for example, she uses Colt's coordination to dance and sing-with the vocal chords she got from me- to songs that I taught her to love) which has, in turn, made her completely unique and utterly wonderful.