Birthday Traditions and Birthday Breakdowns

Breakdowns, I find, are a bit like storms. We can often see or feel them coming but can never know exactly when they will arrive and when they do show up, it's usually at a most unusual time.

I've known for a while now that one was coming. It's only to be expected, with Harper's birthday being so very close and all.

I was in the shower earlier today and as I was scrubbing my face, I was making a mental list of what I need to do/clean/get/prepare before Harper's birthday next weekend. As I thought of Ariel wrapping paper and pasta salads, I remembered that I need to pick up some pancake mix.

 

For the past two years, Harper and I have shared a quiet pancake breakfast together on her birthday. It's nothing big- a few sloppy pancakes and a couple of candles. I sing to her, she blows out her candles (5 times, at least), and we move on with the day. It's a simple tradition that brought me straight to tears (lots of them) today as I realized just how many candles I'd be placing in Harper's birthday pancakes a week from tomorrow.

Three.

Three candles for three wonderful- yet humbling- years with Harper, the cutest little person I've ever known. Three candles for the light of my life- for my sweet (most of the time) and smart and spunky little Harper. Three candles to celebrate the miracle that she is and the magic that she brings to my life every day (if you know Harper, you know what magic I'm talking about).

Heaven above, I love that girl.

I'm really excited for Harper's birthday and I'm even more excited to see what three will bring for her, but I am a bit sad, too. I said goodbye to Harper's babyhood with tears and I'm not surprised that I'm doing the same as she moves from toddler to big girl status.

We have another small birthday tradition. Each year, instead of giving Harper an over-priced and terribly worded greeting card, we choose a book and write in it. Harper's birthday book for this year arrived yesterday and as I read it this morning, I knew we had chosen well. Birthday pancakes weren't the only thing to make me cry today. I had a little breakdown over dinosaurs, too.

I love the How Do Dinosaurs books by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague (How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight is from my list of favorite Harper books). So does Harper. The pictures are great and all of the dinosaur's scientific names are listed, which I imagine will be fun once Harper is old enough to read herself. This one is particularly cute. It's about some very naughty little dinos who, despite their ornery and rebellious ways, love their parents and are loved in return. It is written in rhyme and is quite fun to read aloud. I'll share just a little blurb with you... 

You woke in the morning in such a bad mood...

Then sat at the table and fussed with your food.

But then you blew kisses and waved from the door.

I love you, I love you, my dinosaur. 

And I do. I love my little dinosaur, even if she refuses to stop growing up so quickly.