Fierce but Fragile

Harper is fierce and determined, and- in her mind at least- she is quite grown up (she can get her own chocolate chips out of the fridge and brush her teeth without help, you know). She is smart and aware and curious and far too independent for my liking.

But she is also fragile.

She is little and she is breakable and she still needs me (don't tell her that, though, because she won't believe you).

Last week, Harper and I were at the playground. I was swinging (I'm such a kid) and she was climbing. Then, she fell.

We have never babied her over little falls or stumbles. Instead of reacting, we've stood back and let Harper decide whether she was hurt or not. Normally, Harper hops right up from a fall, not even thinking of crying, and immediately returns to playing. This time was different, however. This time she cried and when I picked her up, she asked to go home because her arm hurt.

Harper has NEVER (not an exaggeration) asked to go home from the park. Leaving the playground usually entails one of two things: a candy bribe or a tantrum. I prefer the candy, FYI.

Anyway, I was quite worried and pushed her home (we'd walked to the park) as quickly as I possibly could. Together, Colt and I examined her and we decided that she was fine (she could do arm circles and reach to the sky, after all). We agreed to keep an eye on her. We just aren't the type of parents that run to a doctor over every little thing.

For the next week, Harper's arm was sensitive. We noticed that she favored it when she was running and if you picked her up or played with her in a certain way, she'd wince and let you know that, "Parper's arm hurt."

Yesterday, it seemed worse and so we decided to take her to the Sandy Instacare. She was such a big girl during the whole experience. The x-ray machine was a little bit intimidating at first but with just a little coaxing (and popsicle promise), she was totally willing to stand still and say "cheeeeese" for us. She also hopped on the scale (35.5 pounds!) and let the nurse measure her (3'2"!) without a fight. I know she was keeping watch for a shot needle, though. Had one of those come out, her mood would have turned sour, for sure.

As it turns out, Harper has a small buckle fracture (I had to google it, too, so don't feel too badly) just below her left shoulder.

One month in a sling (an extra special Snoopy sling) and she will be as good as new.

Still, I cried like a baby once we got in the car to go home.

Can't Harper just be hurt-proof?

I know that bones break and that they heal but I'm sad for her, nonetheless. I don't want to be a helicopter parent. I don't want to hover over Harper and I don't want to try to protect her from everything because 1. that's impossible and 2. that's no fun for anyone. Still, I hate to see her hurting. I hate to see her fragility exposed, even if she does look adorable in her little sling.

I also know (from experience) that hearts break, too, and I hate to imagine the day when Harper experiences a big emotional hurt.

Oh. I can't even think of it. I just cant.

The good news is that such a day is still a long way (10-15 years, hopefully) off. For now, my main concern can be physical hurts and I'm okay with that because physical hurts are, for the most part, so much easier to take on than emotional hurts. Also, with Harper as a kid, watching out for physical hurts is a pretty easy job. She rarely gets hurt (thank heaven that she inherited her dad's coordination) and when she does, she bounces back like a champ, especially when she has a new swing set to encourage her.