Anyway, it's going really well. It's a struggle and was certainly a long time coming, but I'm trying. It's hard to break the awful cycle of food/weight/exercise obsession. I've been eating little meals every three or four hours and I can honestly say that my body feels amazing. I eat fresh produce, granola bars, raisin bran, peanut butter sandwiches, edamame, and I have half of a Naked juice almost every day. I feel energetic and content (for me, content is a really big deal when it comes to body image) and surprisingly, my body looks the same, if not better.
This might all sound a bit silly to you but for me, this is a monumental step forward. I've been dieting and stressing over food since I was a little girl. I've done terrible things to my body and I've let scale numbers rule the roost for far too long.
As it turns out, this is one of the best gifts I've ever received. It's made me so happy.
I'm so happy to be enjoying food with the people that I love (for a long time, I'd just watch while others ate... lame... I know).
I'm so happy to finally let go of ridiculously unrealistic expectations (I replaced all of those "old self" jeans with a nice pile of "awesome self" ones, just so you know).
I'm so happy to have the energy to practice yoga everyday.
I'm so happy to know that by taking this huge step, I've become a better example for Harper. I don't want her to grow up in a house where women measure their self-worth by size and weight. I want her to grow up in a house where delicious and healthy food is abundant and movement (yoga, dance partying, exercising) is a habit.
I also want her to know that it's totally okay to eat an entire bucket of popcorn at the movie theater, which is exactly what she did when I took her to her first movie yesterday afternoon.
(I would like for Harper to know that it's not okay to eat popcorn off the theater floor once your bucket is empty. We all have limits and floor popcorn is one of mine. I'm never going to accept floor popcorn.)
Harper and I went to see Winnie the Pooh and we both loved it (Harper may have loved the popcorn more than the actual movie, but that's understandable since movie popcorn is so yummy).
Harper thought that she was pretty fancy to be going to her first movie ever and wouldn't even sit on my lap. She tried the seats on either side of me. She tried the seats in front of us. She even tried the very front row. Yet she refused my lap. I guess that if you're old enough to go to a movie, you're too old for mommy's lap.
Obviously, Harper was excited about her first movie.
The best part about the new Pooh movie (well besides the pure cuteness of Harper laughing at it...)? Zooey Deschanel singing the theme song. I seriously love her and the minute I heard her voice during the opening credits, I wanted to stand up and clap. I didn't, however, because clapping in movies is always a no-no (that applies to Harry Potter movies as well, my friends. I was excited when Bellatrix got what she deserved too, but I didn't clap).
Girl crush? Yeah. I think so.
The good news is that if we aren't in public, Harper isn't too big for my lap. When we got home from the movie and an overdue trip to the market, we were exhausted and just wanted to enjoy the air conditioning (was yesterday hot or what?). We watched Snow White and we snuggled and it was wonderful.
I'm not always sleepy, I promise.
I just have "tired eyes" almost all the time.
I've tried a plethora of treatments/creams.
I'm drinking water and getting a lot of sleep.
I'm sleeping on a satin pillowcase.
I don't know what else to do.
If you have any suggestions for me, please leave a comment.
I'd really like for my "sleepy eyes" to take a hike.
Love Zoey!! And I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to go to the movies. How fun!!
ReplyDelete