Keepsakes for Today and Thoughts for Another Time

I'm feeling rather melancholy today, for a number of reasons:

Harper is officially 11 months old.

I am feeling completely inadequate/unimportant/unattractive in the girlfriend department.

(I'll do you a favor and spare you the dramatic details)

I miss my parents.

I had to put more of Harper's clothes away this afternoon.

I hate packing up her cute little outfits.

I know that she will never be small enough to wear them again.

That makes me wonder if someday I'll have another baby to fill them.

That train of thought is just not one I'm willing to follow right now.

(Once again, dramatic details... blah blah)

I've been thinking about Christianne a lot lately.

I can't help but wonder how she felt when she put my baby clothes away.
Now there is a dangerous train of thought.

Insert Self-Given Pep-Talk Here:
Breathe and be happy in this moment of growth, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Diligent joy, Abby. Diligent joy.

Anyway, as part of Harper's birthday celebration, we are putting together a time capsule/wish box. I'm including some of her baby items and a few other special surprises (among them will be my October 2010 Glamour and a mix CD so she will know just how OLD her mom really is). We are also having the special people in her life write their hopes/wishes for her future. Hopefully she will have at least 10 heartfelt letters waiting for her as she grows. Harper will receive the box as a gift on her 18th birthday.

I started my "wish" letter months ago and am just now putting the final touches on it. I was gathering items for her box today while simultaneously packing up her summer clothes and shoes. Combine this activity with the fact that she is 11 months today and you have a near emotional disaster. Don't think I didn't cry. I did. I cried a lot. Then I decided that I needed a little piece of Harper's time capsule for myself. I ventured downstairs to her box of newborn clothing and found the perfect keepsake: a pink and white striped nightgown with a little lamb on the front. It doesn't look like anything too special but it was the first thing I ever dressed Harper in. She wore it while we were still in the hospital and for many months after we went home. It is now safely stored in one of my dresser drawers, ready to be pulled out whenever I feel the need to remember my baby. I snuggled it close to my heart before putting it there. The great part is that it still smells a little like her.

Here is Harper wearing my "keepsake" nightgown.

She was only 1 week old in this photo.

My precious, precious baby...