Does This Mean I'm Old?

Miss Payson Royalty

2001

Amanda Anderson (2nd Runner up) Me (in the crown :),

Jamie Provostgard (1st Runner Up), Ashley Dunn (3rd Runner Up)

It's hard for me to believe that this photo was taken 8 years ago today! I won Miss Payson on March 17, 2001. While I am often a little embarrassed to admit that I was once a 'beauty queen,' (whatever that outdated and overrated term is supposed to mean) I must take a moment to offer my gratitude for the learning and growth that came as a result of my pageant experiences. I found a lot of confidence in preparing for Miss Payson 2001 and Miss Utah 2002. I learned how to better express myself, how to organize and lead service and community projects, and most importantly, I learned the art of preparation. My walking, however, is still a work in progress.... as well as my hand waving. Despite having been in 14 long parades that summer, I must admit that I am still an awkward waver... It seems to me that I'm destined to forever be on the clumsy side.

It is so strange to think now that when I won Miss Payson and later became a runner-up to Miss Utah, I thought that I'd reached the pinnacle of my life- that I'd had my biggest and best moments. How very silly I was to think that at 17 and 18, I'd had my most memorable experiences... Experiences which actually in no way compare to genuinely memorable moments such as finding my faith, learning to love, meeting Hazelnut, and most importantly, having my sweet little Harper and planning to marry Colt (with so much happiness, it's no wonder that my crown is collecting dust in the corner). I've changed so much in the past 8 years. For Heaven's sake, I was still in high school when I won Miss Payson and I think I even cried because another girl's dress looked like mine. I didn't know who I was or what I believed. I feel like I have been on a path of discovery since those days of hairspray and cheesy clear shoes. Looking back, I realize that if I were asked the same interview questions today, my answers would be so very different because my world is so much bigger now... my mind and my heart are as well, thank goodness. Still, I'm glad that I found the courage to try out for Miss Payson because 8 years ago when I won, it truly was a dream come true. While I've not yet brought world peace or ended hunger, I do think that I've accomplished some of what I set out to do as a Miss Payson contestant: I've found out who I am. Now all I have left to do is be that person.